2 Steps Away

The time stood still and I continue learning. The clock still chiming but nothing is changing. I’m stuck between the past and the present. Thinking back how much I’ve lost. The joys and laughter where I used to be part of it. When a person sets a thing in motion, there’s a feeling of unease, almost regret until you learn the truth -I often take things for granted. Always do. It’s too late to regret and it will take too long to grieve. Memories are all that I have now. I learn that memories can have a physical, almost living presence. I can see the group hugs, someone screaming my name; everything is echoing in my mind. Isn’t it amazing how you can precisely remember the voices of pupils you met?  Hope someday I’ll find sunshine and I’ll be glad to see them again. For now, I should carry on, observing their acts and moves, carving a smile to see them happy. To everyone, don’t hold your breath. Keep breathing because everything is going to be alright. I’m not depressed here. (chuckle) I just don’t belong here anymore; not only here but anywhere. It’s devastating that the place I loved has turned into a chaotic place where everyone speaks their thoughts whereas; I just listen to what they come up with. Maybe I’ve been spending time with myself too much lately. But don’t worry; self motivation brings me the endless enthusiasm in my plain life.

xo

nins.

(written during science exam when the girls sitting on both sides of mine were sleeping so calmly)