*missing

Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star

Hello people! I know I've been missing for quite sometime and I'm very sorry about that. As you all know I'm currently in Penang having my matriculation course in accounting for a year. My life in KMPP (the collage) is good and I'm doing perfectly fine. Mostly I spend my days studying and attending classes after classes and then tutorial classes and sometimes additional classes at night. *it sounds tiring but it's for good. Day after day, month after month; I grew stronger and weaker at once. I search for myself at every corner I stand but I failed. It's hard to be yourself around people you barely know. Well now, I have become someone who is unpredictable, boring and rather undefined. My major problem is that I over analyzed every situation that happened around me. Let's make it short: I cared/worried/think too much. It's like a bonus to be able to think far ahead than anybody but too far is insane. I have to admit that I rarely smile now, I frown all the time, a walking zombie and so messed up. For a second I thought it caused by the PMS but clearly it's not. This is no longer a mood swing, this emotional disturbance happen all the freaking time. Why life is treating me this way? -I thought by myself. 

I have no other option left that I have to bring mom into the picture. So she was there to listen and she tells me stop thinking about other people. She reminds me about who I used to be. Life is not hard, partially as it is. But the power to change it is in my hand, nobody can conquer my life except for me.Stop making it complicated, stop pleasing everybody, stop caring the unnecessary thing; STOP! I need positive charges around me to survive and it will only happen when I stop being so pathetic. I need no tight slap on my face. All I need is to be strong, to be tough, to be myself. How I miss the old me.. Come back will ya?!! 

* what about the phrase above?

haha.. THINK!